I’m 17 years late getting on board the “Army of Darkness” cult train, but I’m pretty glad I finally did, even if I’m not certain I’ll be taking many repeat trips. A sequel to Sam Raimi’s late 80s horror comedy non-sequel, “Evil Dead II: Dead by Dawn,” “Army” drops most of the horror of the prior film and combines Mark Twain’s “A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court” with bargain basement Tolkien and a huge dose of imaginative slapstick comedy in the vein of classic era Warner Brothers cartoons and the Three Stooges. The result is a pretty rich broth of high-style geekery.

The film opens as wisecracking, chainsaw-armed, loutish, egotistical big-box hardware store clerk hero, Ash (cult superstar Bruce Campbell) and his Oldsmobile Delta Royale fall through some kind of time hole and wind up in 13th century England by way of California’s Bronson Canyon and Vasquez Rocks. Held captive by Lord Arthur (Marcus Gilbert), his only initial supporter is the local Wiseman (Ian Abercrombie). However, victory in battle against some hideous monsters and the chance to use his magical “boomstick” (actually, a non-magical 12-gauge shotgun) adds to Ash’s credibility and helps to attract the amorous attention of a refined and beautiful noblewoman (Embeth Davidtz, adding a touch of class and some real emotion to the proceedings).

READ THE REST AT BULLZ-EYE.COM

In which I shamelessly plug the new exploitarama from my long time friend and cohort, Cody Jarrett. “Sugar Boxx” a women-in-prison low-budget extravaganza of sex, mayhem and other tried and true filmic values premieres tomorrow night, September 5th, at midnight at the Sunset 5 Theatres on the eastern edge of West Hollywood. Those lucky enough to be in attendance will be treated to sexy nudity, a great score (by The Millionaire of Combustible Edison and Steven Adler, formerly of Guns ‘n Roses), gratuitous violence, nudielicious sex, a line of hilarious-yet-pithy dialogue 40% written by me as well as brief flashes…of me (in a nonspeaking role!), nudity, Russ Meyer superstars Tura Satana and Kitten Natividad and the smoking-hot stars of tomorrow (and reality TV), foul language, a little violence, and some more or less nude lesbian sex.

You can see just a hint of that below:

The show is likely to be crowded with famed cast members (including me!) and may well sell out, so buying your tickets early is a good thing. You may still be able to do so here. And, if you can’t make it — acceptable excuses include living thousands of miles from greater Los Angeles — the absolute least you can do is to check out the Sugar Boxx Facebook page as well as the fabulous official website which will no doubt help keep you informed as to various means of viewing this soon-to-be-enormous masterwork.

For more information on fighting hard drugs among our nation’s preschoolers and first graders, see the FSITO website.

****

Now, before you decide to come after me for giving free publicity to really sketchy charities, be aware that this is a nice bit of viral marketing for the upcoming seventies blaxsploitation spoof, “Black Dynamite,” which I was fortunate to see at the Los Angeles Film Festival two months back. From cowriter/director Scott Sanders and cowriter star Michael Jai White (”Spawn”), it’s easily the funniest and best made comedy genre homage in a very long time, and its marketing isn’t bad either. The movie’s official site is worth a look, too.

(Also posted at Premium Hollywood.)

There’s no point in ignoring the posthumous Michael Jackson mania sweeping Movietown today. So, here’s a creepily sentimental movie moment with a lot of poignant subtext which also happens to feature the late singer’s first solo hit. “Ben” was a sequel to the earlier “Willard” which was remade in 2003. I’ve seen neither film, but they were horror flicks featuring nasty but (I guess) lovable killer rats. It looks like the first film tried to combine “Psycho” and “The Birds,” but “Ben” appears to be going for something more like “Rattie Come Home.”

The song, by Walter Scharf and Don Black, was nominated for an Oscar and won a Golden Globe, and there’s no denying the awe-inspiring vocal abilities of the eleven or twelve-year old Jackson. He sells the song with delicacy and emotion, and it saves the final scene below. However, it probably helped with the Top 40 success of the song that most listeners had no idea it was about a rat.

Embedding has been disabled, but YouTube also has a powerful video of Jackson performing the song on the Oscars in 1973.

(Also posted at Premium Hollywood.)

Character actress Lorna Raver starred in the year’s best reviewed horror film, and all she got was this lousy button.

Being in the same general ethnic/religious cohort doesn’t give me the right to speak for writer-director Sam Raimi and his co-writer brother Ivan, but this Jewish kid was just a little bit traumatized when he first learned about the traditional Christian concept of hell. Judaism has no hell other than guilt and death, so learning about the fire, the pitchforks, and the eternal torment – and that millions believed that, by virtue of my non-Christianity, I was going to suffer all of it – was a little traumatic. I hadn’t even done anything bad enough yet to be grounded.

In “Drag Me to Hell,” Raimi and company fashion what is in some respects an only slightly less unjust universe, in which the failure to perform a single mitvah (usually translated from Hebrew as a good deed, but in reality it means the act of obeying a commandment) is transubstantiated from Jewish recrimination into Catholic punishment of the pre-Vatican II variety. In this case, a single selfish choice lands loan officer Christine Brown (Alison Lohman) in serious danger of eternal damnation after being cursed, Gypsy style, by Mrs. Ganush (Lorna Raver), easily the least attractive woman of any age in Los Angeles. It gets worse; the woman has very sharp and very ugly dentures, and she’s not afraid to use them, right alongside the supernatural abilities available to all Romani movie females over age 60. Naturally, poor Christine’s relationship with her understanding psychologist boyfriend (Justin “I’m a Mac” Long, playing straight man for a change) will be somewhat strained as she is subjected to one bizarre supernatural attack after another – including surprise visits in her car, a projectile nosebleed (at least a pint’s worth), and the old eyeball-in-the-“Harvest Cake” trick.

READ THE REST AT BULLZ-EYE.COM

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Huffpo has the very sad and strange news of the late David Carradine’s apparent suicide. All I can say is that the world lost more than a terrific actor with a dry sense of humor, and a member of one of the nation’s premier acting families, it lost something else too — a real onscreen badass mofo. That means more than being to pull off some martial arts moves, it means presence and Mr. Carradine certainly made those Carradine genetics work for him. He’s even memorable as a soon-to-be-dead drunk in Scorsese’s Mean Streets.

My Premium Hollywood/Bullz-Eye colleague/sometime boss Will Harris, who interviewed Carradine, has a personal remembrance and a whole lot more, and Glenn Kenny briefly recalls a few of Carradine’s more interesting mid-career performances, including his work as Woody Guthrie in Hal Ashby’s Bound for Glory, all of which I’ve seen…but not for a very long time. (Well, Ingmar Bergman’s The Serpent’s Egg was more recent, but I’ve kind of struck from my memory on purpose…not my, or anyone else’s, favorite Bergman film…but still, isn’t it cool that Carradine worked with Ingmar-f*cking-Bergman?). The invaluable David Hudson also has much more info.

And finally we have a great deleted scene from Kill Bill, Volume II that shows that, even in his late sixties, Carradine still had the badass mofo mojo down and knew how to impress a killer lady, versus no less an opponent than Michael Jai White (Spawn, Black Dynamite). I don’t want to get spiritual here, but Carradine had long ago achieved B-movie nirvana, at least.

Up to now, I’ve been a no-show at the several cinephile exams that have been hosted over the last couple of years at Dennis Cozzalio’s legendarily brainy film geek blog, Sergio Leone and the Infield Fly Rule. Well, before splitting for a hard-earned vacation, Dennis has posted a new exam on film-related matters, up in honor of the cartoon dog genius, Prof. Peabody, which you’re all encouraged to take.

I’ve posted my responses in the comment thread over there already, but now that I’m a SLIFR slacker no more, I thought I’d make ‘em do double duty here because we know that my opinions matter, or something.

Here goes….

1) Favorite Biopic

“Lawrence of Arabia” – an obviously great film and a rather pedestrian choice given that I really like biopics, sometimes the cheesier and and more ridiculously fabricated the better. Therefore, quasi-demi-honorable mention is alluded this triumvirate of absurdly wrong biopics – “The Jolson Story” (it’s amazing how much Al Jolson’s life was just like the plot of “The Jazz Singer”!), “They Died With Their Boots On” (the love affair between Custer and the Indians your socialist history teacher doesn’t want you to see!) and “Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story” (he didn’t just appear in action movies…he lived them!).

2) Dyan Cannon or Tuesday Weld?

It’s close, but I give it to Dyan Cannon for being hilarious onscreen and genuinely wacky offscreen.

3) Best example of science fiction futurism rendered silly by the event of time catching up to the prediction

The Jetson’s treadmill? I’m drawing a blank here.

4) Annette Funicello & Frankie Avalon or Troy Donahue & Sandra Dee?

Frankie & Annette – I grew up watching those movies on channels 5 & 9 (I think) out here up to age 10 or so. Not that those movies are in any sense “good” (I wonder if I could sit through any of them now?), but F&A at least have a certain amount of charm and sense of humor, which I really can’t say about Troy Donahue, at least.

5) Favorite Raoul Walsh movie?

Not really “White Heat,” and no, definitely not “They Died with Their Boots On”… The winner is “The Roaring Twenties” – by far. Just a magnificent entertainment. I need to see that one again some time soon.

6) Sophomore film which represents greatest improvement over the director’s debut

This is tough, but I guess I’m going to say Polanski’s “Repulsion” as it’s brilliant and “Knife in the Water” left me feeling merely 90 minutes older after it was done. Though, that was in college and I might have a very different reaction now. (Another possibility is “Rushmore” – though I loved “Bottle Rocket” quite a bit, so it’s dicey.)

7) Ice Cube or Mos Def?

Mos Def – because he convinced me he was actually English in “Hithchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.”

Favorite movie about the music industry.

Many, many fun movies in this category, but I guess I’m going to have to go with “Nashville.”

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A.k.a. Scott Thompson and Dave Foley of The Kids in the Hall.

For stylish gorehounds…

For stylish gossiphounds..

Another pair of passings of fascinating, under appreciated, and, in their own way, pretty important entertainment figures, which I only just heard together about via a Twitter from my esteemed Bullz-Eye colleague, Will Harris.

I’m a bit pressed for time and not really expert enough in either’s career to do any kind of justice to them — I had even forgotten that Nina Foch was a hugely respected teacher at USC and AFI, whose work influenced teachers I’ve studied under. I certaintly didn’t know she was still teaching, right up until the moment she fell ill on Thursday. So, I’ll simply note the passing of two great women of classic-era film and beyond. The Los Angeles Times has good obituaries on both: Ms. Foch, who to me will always be Marie Antoinette from Scaramouche (and damnit, I wish I could find her crucial scene with the late Mel Ferrer to show you just how great she was), and Ms. Garland, probably best known today for D.O.A., her time on My Three Sons, and, to Angelenos and tourists, for her North Hollywood hotel.

This one’s pretty much for film geeks only (though the video below is recommended for all music fans)….

So, some time back, my highly esteemed blog-friend Brian Doan tagged me with the “12 Films” meme, which basically calls for the taggee to name 12 films he or she really wants to see, but hasn’t. Though I making any kind of selection found it a daunting task — I have two DVRs filled with movies I “really need to see” plus a NetFlix queue which is, I think, about 350 films long (a few are repeats of favorites or movies I want to take a new look at that I’ve seen before, but mostly not). I responded (eventually) with six films, with the other six to come…eventually.

But now, Brian has again tagged me again, with the dreaded “Alphabet” meme, calling for a listing of 26 films, one for each letter of the alphabet (”the” and “a”, etc., don’t count) we like or feel some personal connection or are favorites, or whatever. Since I still had a deficit of six films as yet to list in the original films-I-want-to-see meme, and to prove my point about the infinite nature of the first (especially considering my pretty omnivorous tastes), I have decided that I’m going to mutate this here ‘net virus and make it a list of 26 films I really want to see, but haven’t, in alphabetical order. I won’t be tagging anyone else with this, for I fear the viral responsibility. However, of course, anyone who wants to play is more than welcome.

The only trend I noticed here is a few notable films I’ve yet to see from directors I’m supposed to be sorta kinda expert on like Billy Wilder and Alfred Hitchcock.

I should add that this was especially challenging for those less popular alphabet letter, as I’ve actually seen both Xanadu and Z (and wouldn’t even think of listing the former unless it was cut down to the one nice dance number with Gene Kelly and Olivia Neutron Bo…I mean Olivia Newton John — I love musicals too much to give it a pass and, while I’m not wholly immune to camp, my love of bad movies knows bounds, lots and lots of bounds). But okay, I admit the idea was born when I realized I’ve had Louis Malle’s Zazie dans le Metro on my DVR for a couple of years now. My musical tastes saved me elsewhere….

I have put asterisks next to films whose unseen status may be questioned by some (including me) or where I have a comment.

So, here goes….

Avanti
Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia*
Cockfighter**
Diabolik
The Emperor of the North
Five Graves to Cairo
Green for Danger
Hallelujah, I’m a Bum
I Am Trying To Break Your Heart
Joe Strummer: The Future is Unwritten
Kagemusha***
Lifeboat
Mississippi Mermaid
Night of the Generals
One of Our Aircraft is Missing
Pistol Opera
Quo Vadis
Robin and the Seven Hoods****
The Spook Who Sat by the Door
Two for the Road
Used Cars
Verboten!
Wee Willie Winkie*****
X: The Unheard Music
YiYi
Zazie dans le Metro

And now, by way of thanking L.A.’s greatest all-time punk rock band for saving me….and, by the way, this is the first time I’ve seen this piece of film, which may or may not be in the X doc listed above. Why can’t more rock videos be this simple? Great stuff.

See asterisks below the fold…

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